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Hands up motherfu**er, this is a consensual encounter!

I used to have a ritual of reading the new Court of Appeals of Virginia (CAV) opinions every Tuesday afternoon in my office with a hot cup of coffee. Nowadays I scan them once a month or so, and I need something a lot stronger than coffee to make it through. The CAV has all the drama of a Harlem Globetrotters game with the AG's office bouncing the ball off the heads and through the legs of the hapless defense bar’s Washington Generals. I checked the results for 2018. Druuuuuumroll. I counted 65 written opinions in appeals by criminal defendants. There has been exactly one reversal of a criminal conviction and it was for misdemeanor reckless driving (kudos to Rossie “Bad Boy of Appeals” Alst