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Ugly + Poor = Reasonable Suspicion

July 14, 2018

 

Do you associate with ugly, sick, or poorly groomed people? Perhaps a co-worker with bad skin? Maybe a high school bud who wears a ratty hoodie?  An uncle going through chemotherapy? The Court of Appeals has a message for you: It’s time to kick those fugly mofos to the curb.  In this week’s unpublished opinion, Jenkins v. Commonwealth, the CAV holds that walking into a convenience store with a man “having a disheveled appearance with hollowed cheeks, sunken features, and dirty clothes” can help justify reasonable suspicion of criminal activity.  That’s right folks, some people are so butt ugly and unstylish, it’s actually criminal.

 

At Westendorf & Khalaf, we strive to provide the public with the best advice on how to stay on the right side of the law.  In pursuit of that mission, we have compiled photographs of the types of people to avoid if you don’t want to end up spread eagle against a police car.

 

People with a disheveled appearance: 

 

 

 

People with “hollowed cheeks”: 

 

People with “sunken features”: 

 

People with dirty clothes: 

 

 

Ewww.  What a bunch of double baggers.  And triple gross if they’re poor too!  Listen to the wise words of the CAV:  “presence in a high crime or high drug activity area (aka poor neighborhoods) is a circumstance that, when coupled with other information, can support reasonable suspicion.”  

Just remember these simple steps and you will never have to worry about the police again:  

 

  1. Live in a nice neighborhood

  2. Have attractive friends

 

Fin

 

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