Sometimes I get word in the courthouse that someone's about to argue that they're a "sovereign citizen" and therefore not bound by state or federal laws. I rush down to the courtroom and love every second of it because it's entertaining, it never works, and it makes me feel better about myself as a human being.
Here's how it typically plays out:
The case gets called and a guy struts up with a stack of papers.
The judge asks, "Are you Joe Smith?"
The guy refuses to answer and says that the court lacks jurisdiction over him.
The reasoning given varies from "I never agreed to be bound by your laws...haha!!!!" to "The obscure Barbary Pirate treaty of 1796 read in conjunction with the common law as interpreted through the UCC Code says I'm actually not a citizen but a creature of God...so I'm not bound by your laws, only Divine scripture....AHAHA!"
The judge, being a polite human being who understands everyone is entitled to their day in court, entertains about 2-3 minutes of gibberish before politely attempting to shut it down.
The guy then persists about his magical fairy tale loophole until the judge loses patience and either holds him in contempt or appoints an actual lawyer to assist as standby counsel.
The sovereign citizen argument has NEVER worked in the history of mankind. Stories abound about "a guy" who beat their charges by using the right elixir of nonsense words and the "case law" to prove it.
I suppose lawyers are partly to blame for speaking their own dumb gobbledygook language. But in the end, how can someone think they're entitled to commit crimes and not be held accountable simply because they didn't consent to being held accountable? Do these people think they can commit mass murder and then make their sovereignty argument and then the judge will be like, "Noooo! He's bamboozled us again. Alright, I have no choice. Apologies to the family members of all the victims...case dismissed!"
I'm not sure where the sovereign citizen idea originated or why it persists, but again: IT HAS NEVER WORKED. I'm guessing the reply to my rant would be, "Of course you'd say that, you're part of the conspiracy. You wouldn't have a job if people started using the magic words in court. You're part of the swamp. Fake news, fake news, fake news!" Fine dude, whatevs.
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